In which I am inexplicably annoyed

This happens every once in a while, but it’s happened twice just recently.  For some reason, it comes up in conversation that I do almost all the cooking at home.  The person hearing this then asks me “Are you a gourmet cook?”

For some reason I find this very aggravating.  I always respond with something like “I don’t really know what that means.  I try to cook things that taste good.”

Maybe it’s because it seems that there’s some sort of implied sexism here.  I’m male, and I cook, therefore I must be a “gourmet” cook, because a man wouldn’t just cook food.

I also imagine some implied hostility toward the presumably elitist sort of cooking that would pass for “gourmet” — candied nightingale’s tongues and the like, as opposed to good honest fare.  “Gourmet” sounds so prissy.

Or maybe I’m just a jerk, and I don’t know how to deal with people who are trying to be nice.  Hard to say.

11 Responses to “In which I am inexplicably annoyed”

  1. Erin says:

    or maybe they just want to come over for something other than the hot dogs that their wife/husband is making…

  2. kicking_k says:

    Before I got married, I got the same way when people gave me cookbooks* – J is a much better cook than I am. I’ve got over it, though he still does most of the meal planning. He’s definitely the head cook.

    *And I got rather brusque if the words “domestic goddess” were mentioned. Though we were given the “Domestic Goddess” book and the cakes are very good, so I was being totally unjust.

  3. binnielula says:

    The only comment I ever get when I mention that Allen does virtually all the cooking in our house is, “Where did you find a [jewel/treasure/fill in your own hyperbolic noun] like that?” I am not offended, but I do point out that when we were first together his repertoire consisted primarily of macaroni & cheese (which I despise), hamburgers and burritos. So, if he’s a gourmet cook, clearly I inspired him.

    I was present at at one of those comments, btw, and I didn’t detect the least amount of hostility. I think you’re paranoid.

  4. Allen says:

    However, you must admit that I am a [hyperbolic noun].

  5. Erin says:

    from a bridal shower that i threw this weekend i learned that “bride” in old english means “cook”. there were a lot of boos in the room when that answer was read.

  6. Allen says:

    Hmmm. I didn’t wear white at our wedding.

  7. Cabell says:

    The only person with a right to wear white at that wedding was me.

    Mom always says you could barely cook before you met her, but she says it in such a way as to imply that she taught you everything you know, which seems unlikely. Anyway, didn’t you already know how to make pies? I need to get some practice doing that, maybe over Thanksgiving.

  8. Allen says:

    Yes, Robin does always phrase that in such a way as to allow the listener to imagine she taught me to cook. I overlook this nobly.

    And yeah, I knew how to make pies, and pancakes, and biscuits, and cookies, and chili, and spaghetti, and lots of things. It’s true that when we met I wasn’t cooking a wide variety of dishes, but then, I was cooking for one.

  9. marc says:

    Well I might have to ask you for recipes, Allen. How many ways can I reorganize beans, rice, and peppers? I look at cooking as something that I have to do, but on occasion I enjoy it.

    Anyway, thought you might like this editorial in the Chicago Tribune.

    http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/opinion/perspective/chi-dadsmay13,0,2466622.story?track=rss

  10. Reno says:

    That’s more cooking than I do, or ever expect to do. I guess this means I’ll never be a [hyperbolic noun].

  11. binnielula says:

    I do tell people you already knew how to bake when we met, and that you make great pies. And I never claimed to “teach” you all you know, merely that I inspired you.

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